Have you ever written out your testimony or story? If God is the "author of our stories" as John Eldridge has shared, what part are you playing in it? Are you the a main character? A supporting actor/actress? A villain? An extra? Or maybe something else?
Furthermore, what if the conflict you are going through right now is just part of the story that God is writing and He's got a happy-ending ahead for you? Would that help us look at trials and tribulations any differently? I just wonder...
Here's part of my story I thought I should share...
I grew up in a wonderful family and have had wonderful parents – well, a wonderful mother. I grew up in the Catholic Church where we attended mass every Sunday. I always knew there was a God, but I never had a personal relationship with Him. I didn’t know if I was saved, but I hoped one day God would, for whatever reason, “let me in.”
I want to fast forward to my junior year at the University of St. Francis, because this is where my crisis occurred. Not too many people know this, but I used to be a pretty cool guy! I was a great student, performed extremely well in baseball, had a gorgeous girlfriend (Meghan), was in a band, and was working a couple of jobs making some extra money. I had a full-time job lined up for after college and from the looks of it; I had a lot of things going for me!
The one thing I didn’t have was peace. I never felt content. I knew my college career was coming to an end, so I began to look for anything to “fill me up” and keep me busy.
So, one of the things I began to focus more and more on was the band. We were a rock/metal band. Sadly, when you’re in college and in a band, you generally participate in the things that go along with it. So I began to drink. I began to flirt with the idea of trying drugs. I began making bad choices and began doing things I had never thought I would do.
The lowest point came when I was down at the University of Illinois at a party with the band. After a night of drinking I came back to the fraternity house and had an opportunity to, in essence, “cheat” on Meghan. I was in really bad shape and had never even come close to doing something like that before. Thank goodness, the young lady had more integrity than I did and didn’t let anything happen.
I went about a month without telling Meghan, but as time went on I kept feeling more and more guilty over the whole situation. Eventually I told her.
When I told her, it was the worst look on someone’s face I ever saw. The disappointment she expressed could have killed me right then and there. Naturally, she told me she didn’t want to talk to me and that I had to leave.
Later that night we spoke over the phone – actually, she more or less told me what a jerk I was. But in the midst of all that, she happened to mention to me that I should talk to her step-dad, Marc, and that I needed Jesus. Now, Marc was born into a Jewish family, became a Jehovah’s Witness for a few years, but has been a believer for the past 8 or so years now. I had barely ever spoken to Marc. When Meg and I would visit her parents, he would talk about Jesus all the time. I would just flatter him for a while until Meghan would come and “rescue” me. So I thought to myself, “What does Meghan want? Does she want me to read the Bible or something?” I thought I had two choices at that point, either to choose the life I was living and break up with Meghan or choose Meghan and give up everything else.
Well, I went to Barnes and Noble and bought a Bible. I went home that night and opened up to some book, which I can’t remember what it was (maybe it was Romans). All of the sudden, as I was reading, I got this thought to call Marc. I thought to myself, “Nope, not going to happen.” A little while later, I felt the same thing and before I knew it, I was downstairs getting the phone and dialing Marc’s home number. To this day, I don’t really know Marc’s number, but I knew it then somehow.
Marc answered the phone and we talked for 3 hours. He pointed me to Scripture which showed me I was a sinner and deserved death. He then showed me with Scripture that Jesus Christ was the Way, the Truth, and the Life and that if I believed in my heart and confessed with my lips that Jesus was Lord, I would be saved. It was truly the Holy Spirit convicting me of these things and they finally made sense to me. I gave my life to Christ that night and cried myself to sleep telling God, “I surrender.”
Everything changed from that point on. I went over to Meghan’s house a couple of days later and shared with her that we needed Jesus in our lives and we needed to start following Him. She broke down and began to cry, because she had been feeling lost as well. She was a wonderful example of Christ’s forgiveness to me – and still is today!
Finally, as I continue to grow and work on my relationship with the Lord, He continues to amaze me. I am more and more aware of His presence in my life and realize more and more that this Christian walk isn’t easy, but it’s SO worth it! I know I can do all things through Jesus who gives me daily strength each and every day to take on the tasks and challenges that come with it. Not only that, but every blessing I experience (and there are plenty of them) I get to thank my Heavenly Father for.
